Howard Retires Teddy K

Caroline was bad on TV erra she doesn’t have the pizzazz us other Kennedy’s do.  In fact, she speaks like my sister Rosemary, who had to be lobotomized.  I’m watching it on TV, I said, “Caroline, all you have to do is go on there and say a few words and say you care about black people and she couldn’t even get those fuckin’ words out without fumfkeeing.”  She can’t adlib to save her life erra she’s no Jay Leno.  Erra I called up Pierre Salinger and said, “Pierre, scribble something down on a paper bag for my niece, she talks like she’s retahhded.  The broad seems like a dumb ass.”  I used to say to her, “You have a shot at being the senator of erra New York, erra a good job.”  It would have been great for us Kennedy’s.  I knew I was dieing of the brain cancer, I said, “Caroline, go on TV, drink a fuckin can of redbull, you lethargic bitch.”  Then she married that guy with the Jewish name, Schlossberg.  I told her, “Why not just call yourself Caroline Jew? What the hell are you doing.  Why not just go to dad’s grave and stab him in the heart.”   

Erra I tried to get her into politics erra she was a shoe-in.  It would have been easy if she could have spoke but she’s such a mush mouth.  She’d be the only Kennedy in politics who wouldn’t fuck chicks.  All us Kennedy’s always use our political advantage for chicks.  We always fuck.  We love to fuck.  We will fuck you no matter what.  I started fucking erra during Anne Margerates years and then I went all the way through to the Olson twins.  Actually, the last girl I fucked was Misha Barton.  You know, the first girl I tried to fuck was Rosa Parks.  That’s right, she was the talk of the day back then.  I said to Rosa Parks, “Get in the back of the bus, I want to fuck you.”  She said, “I won’t go!”  I thought she wasn’t in to me, I didn’t realize it was a movement.  I just wanted privacy while I fucked Rosa Parks.   That was one hot black chick, feisty, she knew how to speak to the white man, I liked her.  All she would do was blow me.  You know what turned me on, she had that processed hair.  I used to say, “Boy, I’d like to shoot my load on your processed hair.”  There’s nothing like shooting your load on processed hair.  Erra I said to Rosa, “If you’re with me, you’ll take more shots to the head than my brothers.”