Tumors

There's a guy, I don't know if you've heard of him, he's been in the news a lot lately, he's English, I don;t think we should hold that against him but, apparently this is his life's dream because he's going country to country, he has a senate hearing in the country coming up in a couple of weeks and this is what he wants to do.  He wants to make the warnings on the packs bigger.  He wants the whole front of the pack to be the warning, like the problem is we just haven't noticed yet.  Like he's going to get his way and then all of a sudden smokers around the world are gonna be going, "Oh yeah Bill, I've got some cigarettes, HOLY SHIT!!!  These things are bad for you?  Shit, I thought they were good for you, I thought they had vitamin C in them and stuff."  

You fuckin' dolt.  It doesn't matter how big the warnings are.  You could have cigarettes called warnings.  You could have cigarettes that come in a black pack with a skull and crossbones on the front, called tumors and smokers will being lining up around the block goin', "I can't wait my hands on these fuckin' tumors."